Kunal Mhatre's Blog

Cigarette speaking

February 22, 2020

Hey, I am a cigarette. Let me introduce myself to you. I am mostly white and I look like a stick, but small in size. I am made up of tobacco. Most of the time, you can find me in people’s mouths; they are called smokers. They burn me from one end and keep inhaling (from the other end) the smoke I produce while I am burning from inside.

Smoking

I never speak anything when I am in the hands of a smoker, but today, I will share my dark side. I am evil and I will always be evil to smokers. I hate them because they burn me.

Some smokers inhale my smoke to get some relief from stress. Which, biologically is correct, and I do that by feeding nicotine to them.4 Some also inhale my smoke to gain focus, but… most of them burn me to look cool in society. I don’t know why, but when they are smoking me they feel like they are some kind of a superstar or a hero; they feel like every non-smoker around them is insignificant. To be honest, that makes me laugh because the reality is somewhat different.

The funny thing is, those poor smokers are unaware of what I am doing to them in return. To put it in one line, I ruin their life one puff at a time and I enjoy it (after all it’s a revenge for burning me to death).

How?

I feed smokers a good amount of harmful chemicals while I am burning. Here are “some” of my harmful chemicals,

Carcinogens: Benzene, Formaldehyde, Vinyl chloride, AND MORE.1

A carcinogen is defined as any substance that can cause or aggravate cancer.1

Toxic Metals: Arsenic, Cadmium, AND MORE.1

Heavy metal toxicity can lower energy levels and damage the functioning of the brain, lungs, kidney, liver, blood composition and other important organs.2

Poisons: Ammonia, Carbon monoxide, Hydrogen cyanide, AND MORE.1

Poison is defined as any substance that, when introduced to a living organism, causes severe physical distress or death.1

Enough of chemistry

Let’s come to life. I also cause premature death in smokers, by snatching at least 10 years of their life.3 And, that is so cool; it’s like bonus revenge for me.

Tell you what, I feel bad when those smokers are surrounded by their friends or acquaintances. I hate them too because even they watch me burn. Here is where the smoke produced by smokers come in handy for me. The non-smokers surrounding smokers inhale secondhand smoke (also called passive smoking) and luckily, secondhand smoke is known to contain at least 250 poisonous chemicals and 70 cancer-causing chemicals.1 It’s like killing two birds with one stone; I am so efficient.

Why quit me?

A lot of smokers are worried about me. I will surely put them to death one day, but then I think I should be appreciated for that. Why? - I am helping the world by controlling the population by killing smokers and also some passive smokers. Yes, if a smoker quits me before the age of 40, then it would reduce their risk of dying from smoking-related disease by about 90%.3 But, since I help the world in population control, I don’t think smokers should quit me.

I take pride when smokers with great ambitions in their life die because of me. It truly makes me feel good about myself when I think of the feeling of regret those ambitious smokers have to go through. After all, I call them to their deathbed quite early in their life, that is, before even they chase their wonderful dreams or before even they enjoy every possible aspect of their life.

Goal

I feel even more successful when a smoker with family dies due to me because their family has to badly suffer the loss. I don’t think that I am doing anything wrong, well, if smokers are going to burn me, then I will try my best to make their life horrible even after they die.

The following video covers the way I affect a smoker’s body. In the latter part of the video, it also talks about how quitting me would help a smoker regain their health. But, if you are a smoker, I don’t think you should focus on quitting me, you should rather let me kill you miserably, steadily, one puff at a time.

Have a great time smoking!

References

  1. A Disturbing List of Toxic Chemicals in Cigarettes
  2. Toxicity, mechanism and health effects of some heavy metals
  3. Tobacco-Related Mortality
  4. Smoking and mental health

Hi, I am yet another Software Engineer and my interests revolve around UI, UX, and Product. I write about random stuff, I explore life and sometimes I look for stars in the skies.